So many of us go through life from day to day, confidently planning for our futures. We make plans for our next vacation, purchase a new car or remodel our homes, we plan to expand our businesses, we plan to spend more time with our loved ones, etc. We plan to “get ‘er done.” The fact, however, is that not all of us will be granted time to get it ALL done.
Ten is a special number. It really grabs your attention to read in the newspaper that someone ten years younger than you has just died unexpectantly . Or perhaps you read that someone just ten years older than you recently died suddenly . After all, it is only ten years. The word for this feeling is “frightening.” Recently, I had both these experiences on the same day. This caused me to ponder “what would my family do if I died suddenly?”
Wait a minute! I am an estate planner by profession! For over thirty years, I have counseled clients to make wills and powers of attorney, set up trusts, purchase life insurance, have a business succession plan, etc. I personally have done these things for my family’s security. Still, I asked myself, “What would my family do in the first 48 hours if I died without warning?” Like all families, they would be in a state of shock, denial, pain and confusion. Is there anything that can be done to help? Yes, indeed there is.
Plan your funeral. The disposition of a person’s physical remains is one of the least planned of his or her affairs. If you wish to spare your family unnecessary grief, stress, confusion, and expense, then plan your funeral. Put it in writing, and make sure that your family understands and knows where to immediately find the plan of your funeral wishes. Fears about discussing death understandably make all family members very reluctant to discuss or plan funeral arrangements in advance of actual need. Nonetheless, the kindest, most loving thing you can do for your family is to insist that they join you in planning your funeral and theirs as well. Decisions made in haste and under extreme emotional pressure are never desirable. Whether a loved one dies suddenly or not, consider the many decisions that must be made in a very short period of time: burial or cremation, grave or mausoleum, location of visitation and service (church, funeral home, graveside, etc,), type and length of service, time and day of service, choice of cemetery, selection of casket, pall bearers, clothing, music, flowers, officiant (clergy, family members, friends, funeral director), etc. All these difficult decisions must be made at a time of maximum stress! My father died 22 years ago after a lengthy illness. I well remember my family and I sitting around the dining room table with the funeral director and my father’s attorney to make the arrangements. Several months later, one of my father’s closest friends told me that he had been so hurt that we had not included him as a pallbearer. How could we have forgotten him? We certainly did not mean to leave him out, but in the stress of the moment, we did. It happened because we did not plan ahead.
The biggest decision is of course the funeral. It is expensive, and there are many options available. The average funeral in
The next question, is “how is the funeral paid for? “ You can spare your loved ones much confusion, stress, and pressure by arranging for a pre-need funeral contract or by purchasing burial insurance. It will be a great kindness to your family if you will arrange to pay for your funeral in advance. Yes, you may have plenty of life insurance, but it often takes a month or more to get a claim processed. In our area, we are increasingly seeing some funeral homes refusing to proceed with the services until all fees are paid in advance. Purchasing a pre-need funeral is actually a wise financial move as you save your family money by locking in the current price for future funeral goods and services. Federal law requires funeral directors to provide an itemized list of the costs of all services materials such as caskets. If a casket is used, you do not have to purchase it from the funeral home.
Finally, we ask: “will those responsible for handling my affairs have access to money to pay bills?”It is certainly advisable to have an easily accessible source of funds your heirs can use to pay burial or cremation costs. This is often accomplished by using joint accounts or “payable on death” (POD) or “transfer on death” (TOD) accounts at a bank or other financial custodian. Alternatively, you can have a power of attorney (POA) to give someone authority to access your accounts if you become ill. Please note that the authority granted under a POA terminates at death. POAs are serious legal documents with far reaching consequences, and should always be prepared by an attorney.
Your thoughtful preparation for dealing with life’s uncertainties can be a blessing to your family and a demonstration of your love for them. At my office, we have available materials that will guide you in getting your affairs in order. If you would like to request a copy of Because I Love My Family, send me an e-mail at robertcbfin@bellsouth.net, or call my office at (731)668-5665.
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